#then you know that once i get into this it’s a rabbit hole there’s no way out; so thank goodness i didnt attempt it during my FINAL year
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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 4 ]
{☆} characters arlecchino, furina, lyney {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood {☆} word count 3.7k {☆} previous [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ]
Fontaine was bathed in darkness, not even the moon daring to illuminate where the common man fears to walk. The streets were bleak and empty save for the constant, rhythmic ticking and clanking of machines marching on endlessly, dauntlessly wading where even the bravest dared not to venture. Not even the sharp click of the Gardes boots followed the occasional hisses of steam as they walked the barren streets.
It was haunting, and it'd been like that for days now. It showed little signs of stalling in the slightest, too. Every inch of Fontaine was practically crawling with Gardemeks– like a swarm of rats skittering about.
Arlecchino had secluded herself in the Hotel Bouffes d'ete for days at this point, waiting– biding her time. Her nails clicked against the wood as she tapped at the table in a stilted rhythm, the subtle click of the clock mixing into the clanking outside, weaving in and out of earshot as the patrols slipped by. She reached forward after a moment of thought, reaching for the white king.
She leaned back against the chaise, tilting her head just enough to catch a glimpse of a patrol of Gardemeks as they vanished behind the rows and rows of buildings. It wasn't enough to keep her attention for long, however, her features twisting in disinterest as she glanced back to the chessboard– and the letter neatly resting beside it. The seal was unmistakable and a sobering sight, demanding her attention– the soft hues of blue etched into the shape of a dragon stared back at her in a way that almost unsettled her.
She had already parsed through it's contents hundreds of times, but she was met with only vague, flowing script that only served to irritate her more then anything– it filled the page top to bottom yet managed to say nothing at all. Her hand reached out again, but instead of reaching for the letter she plucked the black rook from the board, setting it down with a soft click.
Arlecchino had all the time in the world to sit back and observe her prey, but all that time would be useless if she lacked the information to act.
And he was quite tight fisted about it, evidentially. None of her inquiries or attempts to decipher any potential codes in the letter left her empty handed. She could not act without even knowing the reason for his summons– it was almost worded like a personal affair rather then one would expect for a foreign diplomat. In truth, she'd expected a scalding report on her operatives, but it lacked any mention of anything of the sort.
She was no stranger to people masking hostility behind pretty words and compliments, not that it was ever unwarranted per se– the Fatui did not create connections through honesty and genuine kindness. They have strong armed more then their fair share of people into cooperation to the point distrust is all the Fatui are met with outside of Snezhnaya. Every word was meant to conceal the deceit, every action meant to conceal the price later paid.
So she had been..skeptical of the letter, to put it lightly. She doubted the Iudex of all people would offer a hand to the Fatui without a price attached– a trap, perhaps, meant to lure in the most powerful piece left on the board. Her eyes narrowed, reaching for a white rook and moving it to the right.
Or he was hiding something. Something that he simply couldn't risk getting out to anyone, not even the Divine themself. A tempting prize, whatever it was.
..A dangerous prize, too.
She'd considered burning the letter and forgetting it all together– the risk was great, and she couldn't risk getting caught up by whoever else the Iudex may have on his side of the board. But she could hardly pass up the challenge and the prize that he fought so hard to keep from prying eyes and ears. Even her agents came back empty handed each time. She lazily picked up a black rook, sliding the white pawn aside.
"Lyney," Arlecchino drawled, crossing one leg over the other and turning her gaze to the door as it slowly creaked open. The pale visage of Lyney stepped through, though his siblings were noticeably absent. The weariness that weighed down on his shoulders was apparent in the slightest furrow of his brows and the subtle creak of leather as he clenched his fists behind his back. "Father." He choked out, the title dragged out by the sharp inhale and shaky exhale.
He looked out of breath, she noted.
The silence that lingered after the small exchange was punctuated only by the click of another chess piece being moved. She sets aside the black rook, letting it sit among the dozen other pieces that had been wiped off the board. She can see the conviction glinting beneath the fog of exhaustion, but if he would utilize it was another matter all together.
He had seemed to make his choice quickly, at the very least.
"Our contacts and operatives within the Fortress of Meropide have gone silent– all we have is their final confirmed missive.." His voice is confident, but it is rigid as the words spill from his lips. He takes a sharp step forward, unfolding his arms from behind his back and opening his hands– the small, water stained and messily folded note catches her eye, plucking it from his palms with a half hearted interest. "They believe the Duke left the Fortress of Meropide..and that he may be coming to the Court of Fontaine."
Her eyes narrow dangerously, nearly crumpling the thin paper in her hands– yet just as quickly, she collects herself.
But she cannot get rid of the bitter taste on her tongue, lingering as she sets down the note and slides it to the side, her lips pursed into a thin line.
So the Iudex had shown one of his pieces..she tightly grasps a black rook, tipping over the white rook, letting it roll against the board.
If the Duke was involved, things were much more complicated then she expected– he would be a problem, she was certain. She couldn't blame the lamb for fearing the wolf, either. Whether her agents had been killed or captured by the man mattered little. He had his ways, and he was a force that could instill fear in even them.
Which meant the possibility that her operation was already compromised was far too real.
What had the Iudex so concerned he had gone through the trouble of bringing in the Duke and herself? The Fatui was one thing, but to specifically request one of it's Harbingers..
The Prophecy? The thought had her clenching her fist, but..no. If it were to rear it's head now, the Iudex could simply not afford to waste time on his contacts deciphering his nonsensical script– If the prophecy were to be the issue, there time would be limited to mere minutes in the worst of cases. Which meant it was worth biding his time in order to ensure absolute secrecy.
So if not the prophecy, then what?
Her next moves were..limited. She was already walking on eggshells considering her position and the reputations of the Fatui– especially with a Harbinger in the midst. If they caught wind of her operations, they'd weed out her operatives and be on guards for any snakes that lingered in their garden.
She reached for the chessboard again, picking up one of the white rooks from the board with a scowl. The sharp click as she sets down the white rook and sets aside the black pawn draws a shaky inhale from Lyney as she moves another black pawn, the dull click of the pieces drowning out the distant clinking of machines.
..A draw, perhaps.
The pieces were all falling into place– the players of this game were slowly being revealed. Whether she could secure her victory..she was unsure.
She wasn't even sure who her opponent was. Only that the Iudex himself was but another piece in their game.
Arlecchino reached for the board again, yet this time she hesitated. Perhaps she could still swipe the win from beneath them, if she played her cards right.
She would simply have to capture the king– or, if need be, let it end on a draw. Either way, she would not concede. She could not afford to concede. Down to the last piece, she would drag out this match until she was in a position to force their hand into the outcome she desired.
She stood slowly, picking up the king piece and observing it for only the briefest of moments before she set it down on the table, taking measured steps around the table and across the room. She was hunting a much more dangerous quarry today– it would be no simple runaway traitor this time.
"Do you remember the directive?" She inquired coldly, her hand lingering on the door for that long, tense moment. "..Yes, Father." Lyney faltered, taking a hesitant step back and bowing at the waist. "Then do not stray."
All that was left was the silence and click of the door shutting behind her as she disappeared down the hall, her boots clicking harshly against the floorboards. The rest of the agents knew better then to linger in her path as she stepped down into the lobby, adjusting the cuffs of her sleeves. She barely even acknowledged the Fatui agent standing at the ready by the heavyset doors, their gloves hands held out with her cloak held loosely in their palms. She quickly snagged it from them, tugging it over her board shoulders and clasping it around her throat.
With a quick tug, she brought the hood up over her head to conceal her sharp features, lifting her hand and placing a neatly folded note within their waiting hands. She had only one chance to make the right moves and secure her victory– no matter the cost.
Each piece had it's purpose.
Oft, that purpose was a bloody and horrible end– but for the grand goal of the Fatui built on the backs of the dead, it was an honor.
She didn't bother speaking a word as she dismissed them with a wave of her hand, pushing open the heavyset doors and stepping out into the barren, damp streets. The rhythmic clink and whir of Gardemeks was still distant– she needed to move. Her boots clicked and splashed in the rain soaked stone of the streets as she slithered between the buildings, ducking through the openings in the patrols.
It was almost too easy.
She tilted her head back, taking in the towering Palais Mermonia with a scowl, her hands clenched into fists. The final moves were being played– the king was within her reach, yet she felt no more confident then when she began.
The air carried a sense of unease, thick and heavy, filling her lungs until she felt her breath still in her chest– listening to the empty, bleak night that seemed so..quiet.
She'd done her fair share of research, had more then her fair share of her agents try to peer into the Iudex's office or the Archon's supposedly hidden chambers, but every attempt was a failure. She had to give them credit, they were quite elusive when they wished to be. Though now she only thought about it bitterly– this was all a risky gamble, in the end, and only time would tell if it paid off.
With minimal effort, she'd managed to pull herself to the flat, tiled roof, eyeing the massive tower peaking out of the center cautiously. At least here the wandering patrols down below weren't likely to notice her..she could hear them passing by the spot she'd been in only a few minutes ago, just beneath her. She pulled the hood further over her face, peering through the sheer darkness of the night for any oddities, but it was almost impossible to see in the dark.
Her boots clicked softly against the tiles as she approached the tower jutting out from the Palais, her hand gliding along the smooth stone, pressing against odd indents or crevices. If it was for the Archon's chambers, she doubted they made it very difficult– she'd only met the woman once, but she doubted the Iudex make it all that complex just from a brief glance. And it surprised her little when one of the stones sunk into the wall, gears whirring as the walls split open to reveal a stairwell straight into an inky black hall. Only the barest hint of light peaked under the door at the bottom, but it's occupants must have heard her, considering it went out not a moment later.
She cautiously stepped down into the small crevice, her breath visible in the bitter cold air– her shoulders tensed at the subtle sound of muffled footsteps behind the door, her vision flaring with a molten heat between her shoulder blades as she reached for the worn handle of the door. The heat of her vision was enough to just barely heat the metal, her vision flaring like a quickly building inferno.
Arlecchino was prepared for a fight, if it came down to it.
The door creaked as she pressed against it, shoving it open with a grunt of effort and surveying the room with narrowed eyes and a biting remark on the tip of her tongue– the lavish opulence was expected, she supposed, but the lack of the towering figure of the Iudex was not.
Yet before she could get a word in or even take in her surroundings properly, the light flickered back on and she had to squeeze her eyes shut with a hiss at the sudden brightness. She could hear the door being shoved closed behind her, the hurried footsteps retreating just as quickly as her eyes adjusted to the light.
..This was a joke, wasn't it? It had to be.
She'd expected the Iudex, perhaps even the Duke if she'd been unlucky, not the Hydro Archon. She had half the mind to test her worth as an Archon then and there, her temper flaring like an uncontrollable blaze, barely kept at bay. It took all her self control to force herself to smile politely at the woman rather then snarl.
"Miss Furina," She sneered beneath her hood, x shaped pupils locked onto the startled, trembling Archon with thinly veiled contempt. "What a..pleasant surprise. You'll have to forgive my manners, I assumed I was meeting with the Iudex." She observed her body language carefully– the way her eyes darted about like a frightened rabbit seeking escape, the slightest tremble of her lips..
Arlecchino opened her mouth to offer another scathing remark, but her jaw audibly clicked shut as her entire body seemed to lock up. Even her vision went cold against her back, a chilling feeling creeping up her spine as someone, or something, crept up behind her. Their footsteps were almost silent, the slight rustling of their clothes the only thing she could hear over her heart pounding against her ribcage.
Arlecchino had always prided herself on being on the other end of that sensation– she was the monster, and her target was the prey frozen like a deer between the hunters crosshair.
It was a chilling feeling to have the dynamic shifted on it's head.
She couldn't even swallow, her jaw clenched so hard she could hear it creak as she tried to reason with her quickly splintering mind– a futile effort, her joints locking up almost painfully. Black spots were quickly swallowing her vision from the lack of air in her lungs, the sound of shuffling behind her barely audible over the ringing in her ears.
For a moment – a moment too long to have only lasted the seconds that it did, yet so quick it gave her whiplash – she thought she would hit the floor dead before she could even glimpse her assailant.
And then it was gone. She came crashing back into reality with a startled inhale, her lungs burning and her knees nearly buckling under her. The instinct to lash out and kill whoever had done it was intense, yet she couldn't bring herself to move even a finger– it would be so easy to twist around and ignite them with searing flames, but her feet were rooted in place.
She almost didn't notice the surprisingly gentle hands unclasping her cloak, tugging it off her shoulders, if not for the sheer intensity of the presence still lingering behind her. Her mind was still fractured, struggling to right itself after the ordeal, and it had her seething.
"..Are you certain you held back enough?" Furina croaked, the normally soft lilt raspy and almost hoarse. "Not– not that I doubt your capability, most Divine!"
Arlecchino felt her nails dig harshly into her palms, heat swelling beneath her skin– Divine? Had she lost her mind? The Divine was..
The Divine was upon their throne where they belonged. She'd seen them!
"Hm. Well, maybe? Sorry, I didn't think it'd affect you too." Their voice was sickeningly soft as they stepped around her like she wasn't even there, focusing their attention on the Archon who seemed more then delighted about it. "What gave you that impression, most Divine? Aha, I..was completely unaffected, as you can see! Perfectly fine."
Furina let out a small squeak when they pinched her cheek, but the almost affectionate smile that tugged at their lips revealed the lack of malice behind the action.
"You're a bad liar, Furina. You might want to sit down..please?" They didn't take her protests for an answer, gently pushing her to sit on the bed before abruptly turning to face Arlecchino once more, a forced smile on their lips. "Oh, good, you're..uh, not dead. That's good. I thought I fried your brain. Sorry?"
..Had she hit her head on the way here? The Divine should still be on their throne, yet she couldn't shake the weight of their stare– it felt tangible. She felt like she was standing face to face with the stars– galaxies and constellations bearing down upon her.
She grit her teeth and clenched her hands until she felt the sting of her nails against her palms, grounding herself in the pain through the sheer overwhelming nature of their existence.
"You.." She croaks, reaching out with a shaky hand and grabbing them by the collar of their shirt, lifting them up until their feet left the floor– she pays no mind to the startled protests of the Archon. Arlecchino would crush her like a bug before she even got the chance to intervene and they both knew it. "You shouldn't exist– you aren't them, and yet you..you're the imposter, aren't you?" Her grip tightens yet they face her without an ounce of fear, meeting her unyielding glare with a pondering look.
Arlecchino wanted to make them bleed just to see if she could, the urge to sink her teeth into skin welling up in her chest to the point she visibly snarled, her mask of politeness long . "You're the imposter." Her expression falls for a moment before she schools it into one of apathy, setting them back down and holding them there for a moment, finally releasing them after a tense moment. "Or you were supposed to be."
Hers brows furrow– she wants to demand answers, to throttle them for damning them to being nothing more then dolls for the supposed Divine to break at their whim, but none of the words come to her.
"..Why now? The current Divine has been in power for years, yet you descend now?" Her shoulders tensed, lips pursed into a thin line– it's impossible to ignore the truth that lay before her. The Divine is a fraud and this..imposter is the true Divine. How many years had they been in power, now? How many years were they waiting? Why did they wait? Was the suffering of Teyvat not enough? Was the blood that painted the steps of their stolen throne not enough?
She'd personally been on the wrong end of the Divine's wrath– she wonders..had they watched? Had they seen the cruel hand of their imposter and turned their back on Teyvat?
"I.." They hesitated. It made her seethe, her hands clenching into fists at her sides– her vision flickered, flames swelling within it's casing just to be smothered by the presence of the Divine. But once that spark had been lit, she refused to let it go out. "I didn't know."
The answer does not satisfy her. There is an itch beneath her skin that she cannot scratch, a fire that burns in her chest so hot it scorches even herself.
"And what about now? Are you content to cower like prey in the safety of the Palais Mermonia?" She snapped, taking a step forward, her brows furrowed and her glare intense– she can see the slightest bit of worry in their eyes. She revels in it. "Will you let them use your acolytes like pawns? How many more need to be broken on the steps to your throne before you act?"
Again, her vision flares and dims– it refuses to be used against the Divine that created it.
"Have you no answer?"
The room is silent. They do not speak and neither does she.
Even the world itself seems to quiet in the face of her accusations, fury boiling to the surface so hot it incinerated all it touched.
"I will kill them myself."
Their words are quiet, but they are not soft– there is a vindictive, searing anger that explodes out like dying stars within their eyes. The sight of constellations replaced by a void that would not be . The smell of ichor grows stronger– to the point she feels almost lightheaded.
"..I am aware that I have failed in preventing this, but I had no choice in the matter. Still," They muse, their voice like the tolling of bells. A solemn melody that stills the swelling fury burning in her chest, if only for a moment. "I will rectify it– I will tear down their throne of lies and let not even the earth tarnish itself by burying their corpse among it's soil."
They pause for a moment, holding out their hand– scarred and bandaged by the weapons of the devout, yet still they take upon the burden of dirtying their hands to save those who did not save them.
"Do you trust me, Arlecchino?"
Did she?
"Will you help me?"
She exhales heavily, meeting the starry iris' of the Divine with a scowl still tugging at her lips. Arlecchino trusted no one but herself.
"..Yes."
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#imposter au#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#arlecchino#lyney#furina#you do NOT wanna know what i got put thru writing this fic#trying 2 find out where arle was in the few times we DO see her and going down a rabbit hole of fuck fontaine and its layout actually!#I spent like 3 hours looking it up and checking in game it gives me a migraine thinking abt it. ew#anyway trying to write a really smart character is surprisingly difficult when ur as dumb as rocks#also used an actual chess match for this and gave myself an even worse migraine trying 2 make sure i didnt repeat moves or smth#furina doesnt get a spotlight yet just imagine her sitting in the corner trembling like a wet kitten you found on the side of the road#arlecchino goes thru a crisis more at 11#shes a tired single dad shes isnt getting paid enough for this okay#hands u a fic over half the length of the other THREE PARTS#ehe :]#is arle actually on ur side??? is she gonna double cross u???? who knows!!!!!#shes unpredictable she might stab u for funsies#anyway im gonna go nap in a ditch now this took SO LONGGGGG OH MY G-D#also just think acolytes who arent buddy buddy w reader and even resent them is so tasty#bc how r they supposed 2 know reader was a human vibing 5 minutes before their got eebied 2 teyvat..#reader gotta roll up their sleeves and get 2 WORK sometimes murder IS okay#they gotta fix some shit around here and that means committing several crimes all at once. sometimes more#a group can be g-d (just got here) their dragon (neuvi) their cat (archon) their dog (wrio) and their wolf (arle)
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Dear noritoshi cult leader!!!!!! I wanted to know if you have any recommendations for other artists or content creators that post for our boy noritoshi?
my devout cult member!!!!!!
I don't know many artists who are still active or still draw Noritoshi stuff. I mostly get my content from pixiv or pinterest even if it's.... severely rare.... and even then, they've only drawn him once, and that's all but it's something!
btw when I say some aren't active, I mean they haven't posted in a while. fingers crossed they cOME BACK PLEASE GOD I MISS YOU.
My list is in no particular order unless you count who came to mind first?? nonetheless, here are some Noritoshi artists that I know of/taken inspiration from
kamo_sympathy [Twitter] haven't been active for a while, but I still enjoy the stuff they have there. Very good!!
getou_0203_ [Twitter] also semi inactive. they're a Getou, Gojo, and Choso enjoyer too. how they drew Noritoshi is smth I inject in my soul.
ohayo_akachan [Twitter] again... kinda inactive, but still. I enjoy their content a lot while I can't really understand what they're saying. DeepL my saving grace.. their style is v similar to the anime style, which I find super cool!!
Gotharcheologist or @/alegnace [Twitter and Tumblr] They're a chosonori shipper and active! I really like how they draw Noritoshi and Choso. how they draw blood is so good, how they draw faces is so good, THEIR ARTSTYLE IS SO FUCKING GOOD
magical_candy15 [Twitter] They didn't post a lot, nor are they active as of now, but the few scenarios were really good and fed me in my drought for a while. I love u..
rin5su0605 [Twitter] A Todo×Noritoshi account with some love to the rest of the Kyoto group too! This person was active as of June 2023, but I'm using copium. I really like how they draw.. and the color choices oh my fuck.
mecuru_MECU (?) [Twitter] I'm a bit iffy on this one. They look to not be doing jjk anymore, but they were once into Noritoshi if you go to their earlier posts. Their linework is beautiful, like their colors! there's something about their work I really like.
and that's all I have, I think? I know there are others out there that i don't know or don't remember, but I'll probably add them over time if i find more or if anyone else has someone in mind to recommend in the comments of this post!
yoshida_jyu [Twitter] They mainly post in a comic format! theres also some Megumi×Noritoshi shipping so if thats your thing, this dude's your dude. i have no idea what theyre saying but they draw cute expressions. also draws mainly Noritoshi, Kokichi, and Megumi
16shelter [Twitter} also a Megumi×Noritoshi shipper. Little warning: their art can be nsfw/suggestive at times, so be careful w that if its not your thing. Their anatomy is good AND POSING im grabbing my pen.. also, this person finds Arata cute, so theres some art with him too!
#noritoshi#kamo noritoshi#noritoshi kamo#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#cult leader cameo#i had to scrape the bottom of the barrel and go through so many rabbit holes to find these artists bro#the rest of the content i get is fr just from my delusions#there are more really cool artists out there but theyve only drawn him once or twice so i omitted them#theres also some who DELETED ALL THEIR OLD SHIT OF HIM PLEASE COME BACK I DONT CARE WHAT HAPPENED I MISS YOU#AND THEN THERES SOME IN MY HEAD WHO I CANT REMEMBER THE NAME OF OR HOW I FOUND THEM FOR THE LIFE OF ME#I KNOW THEY EXIST BUT I CANT FUCKING FIND THEM RN#if some links dont work/you dont trust links try looking up the username!#null brainwash#cloaked cult member
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#I once made a joke to my students that even though I never worked out I was always mentally lifting weights#in the gym of my own mind.#and it’s been such a helpful metaphor#not to make an outrageous statement here or to overestimate how smart I am (often not very smart at all!)#but just. my brain gets use. it gets exploration. it has been honed.#if it had an embodied form (other than my body) yeah! it would be lifting weights!#and/or doing gymnastics lol (for a zeitgeist-y metaphor)#(actually I am legit so good at mental gymnastics)#but ANYWAY the point is: the metaphor struck me because it highlighted how little my brain gets a break#and again—it’s not all worthwhile or deep or insightful or GOOD. a lot of it is useless or downright silly mental activity#but it IS activity. it is mental motion. day in day out. and it is so so so so so so so hard for me to give my brain a break#or even know how to do that#and I am absolutely tearing mental muscles and getting whatever it is athletes get when they work out too hard#or too strenuously#to extend the metaphor to the limit#and I need !!!!!!! a rest day#vacations are almost worse tbh. I feel like I hit this point a lot in the summer#because school forces me to think about things but actually much more helpfully it forces me to stop thinking about things#and do something else. it’s thinking on a schedule lol#and so the breaks are just built-in#but on my own I’ll just go go go go go and fall down every rabbit hole and chase my own tail#and it’s so tiring#anyway it hit me the other day that I could actually set limits for myself#like I was thinking about something in the shower (as you do) and it was stressful#and then I was like you have until the end of the shower to think about this and then you have to stop#and it was super helpful. I need to do that more. but yeah.#I don’t know how to give myself a rest day because who knows what will set the brain off#I also Know it wouldn’t be as bad if it wasn’t all interwoven with anxiety. but anixey is very deeply interwoven with how my brain works#so stressfully going down a million thought paths#ANYWAY !!!!! it is 1;41 am and I can’t sleep!!!!!!!
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there’s a power rangers joke in here somewhere
#guess who’s back to editing!#im going to try and finish recording s3 before new years#i may not finish (or even begin) alfie’s video but i say that’s progress#i havent been able to record anything at all bc i was focused on my studies and if you know me#then you know that once i get into this it’s a rabbit hole there’s no way out; so thank goodness i didnt attempt it during my FINAL year#that’s right friends! im graduating in May!! your girl’s gonna have her degree! woooooooi#are eddie and kt like those extra rangers that show up mid-season like gold; silver; or purple?#in the mean time#season 3 should be… interesting#i just know im gonna record SO much#amber’s the pink ranger obvi#but who’s the fifth? would it be yellow so nina? or would it be black or— i havent watch PR shows in years damn#house of anubis#sibuna#hoa#alfie lewis#fabian rutter#patricia williamson
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I finished the special story in Connections and it got me to bawl my eyes out so bad. That story was so much more meaningful and emotional and impactful than the entirety of Naruto itself. What the fuck do you mean it was written by Kishimoto????? He did NOT write something for a side story in one of the ultimate ninja storm games and make it better than anything he's ever done before. There's just no fucking way.
#i fucking hate when filler and non canon side stuff is like. better than canon lmao#and not cuz like. filler doesnt deserve it ooo fuck filler whatever NO!!!!! BECAUSE IF ITS GOOD PEOPLE STILL DONT WATCH AND THEN CALL YOU#A LOSER EVEN BOTHERING WITH FILLER!!!!! FUCK OFF!!!! FUCK NARUTO AND FUCK SASUKE AND YOU KNOW WHAT. EVEN FUCK OBITO#NO THIS IS ABOUT BORUTO AND NANASHI AND HOW THAT WAS THE BEST NARUTO AND YES EVEN BORUTO CONTENT EVER CREATED#AND NO ONES GOING TO CARE BECAUSE WAAAA FILLER IS STUPID AND IT SUCKS WAAAAA SUCK MY COCK#the best most emotional arc in bleach is fucking filler. the connections side story is barely even filler when its for a fucking VIDEO GAME#ITS NOT FUCKING FAIRRRRRRRR!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#that was the best naruto content ever. better than even blood prison by a loooooong shot#it just fucked me up man. it really really fucked me up and REALLY got to me#i started getting pissed off how far down the rabbit hole it is of content people actovely DONT want#its an original side story in a game people play for the pvp. its boruto related. ITS FILLER as in no relation to the#plot written by ikemoto#its boruto and its filler and what could people possibly hate more? boruto filler.#but nanashi was an amazing character and bort proved once again that hes the bestest boy in the whole wide world#and not to mentiom merz was really really hot when he took the bandages off his face. im SORRY BUT ITS TRUEEEEE LOOK AT HIM!!!!! FUCK DUDE#and message was so so beautiful and so was the animation and the effects. and just. GOD. they could have made that a movie#MAAAAN i wish it was!!!! that woulda made an INCREDIBLE movie!!!!!#im not gonna get over this. i will always be obsessed with this. holy shit#also im sorry mitsuki but i ship BoruNana/BoruHika now.#at least with nanashi i dont have to worry about her whole character getting thrown to the wayside since her story's already over#now this is reminding me of the anime throwing ryogi away even tho his relationship with shikadai made me feral#just cuz that wasnt an arc in the manga!!! WHICH WAS STILL TOTALLY IN AN ERA OF THEM HAVING ALMOST NOTHING TO DO WITH EACH OTHER#thats what fuckin shoulda happened. the anime and manga should have stayed wildly different stories#i hate how all the original plots that the anime started with got shafted to follow the manga's story#ryogi didnt matter. KAGURA DIDNT FUCKING MATTER CUZ THEY KILLED HIM OFF LATER CUZ I GUESS I NON-MANGA CHARACTER DOESNT MATTER#FUCK OFF!!!!!!!#i hate it here. i fucking hate naruto. leave me alone i need to wallow. im going to wallow brb. i need a wallow sesh#personal
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Whatever your opinion on dating sims is, I cannot stress enough to experience Doki Doki Literature Club at least once in your lifetime
#it's free. it takes 4 hours to complete. it will change your life#as long as you go in completely blind and NOT give up playing#like even if you want to - DON'T. please trust me#this is super random i know#but i just 100%-ed ddlc plus and omg#just.... the level of mindfuckery of this game#and the depth of its rabbit hole once you start digging into every tiny detail#i LOVE that i can get LOST in that shit#i remember stumbling upon this game a few years ago when it just came out and i was FLOORED#do take those warnings at the beginning seriously tho#personal#gaming
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learning a lot abt myself today. nothing good but that's business as usual
#not that i didn't know it's bad and painful but it's nice to get some validation. ofc I'm saying that tho. i have bpd.#i googled smth then started clicking all these google questions and went down a rabbit hole and now I'm spiraling 👍 oh well#bpd is literally like ''damn shit's fucked'' disorder except once the shit gets fucked you can never unfuck it#you can spray some air freshener if you're lucky. but the shit will forever remain fucked#. not the best analogy but you get me here i think. also i made myself laugh which helped my current panicking over being an awful person
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when do yall think sawashiro found out akane was alive . just wonderin .
#snap chats#WAS THIS A RECENT DEVELOPMENT OR EARLIER CAUSE IF IT WAS EARLIER OHHHHH MY GODDDDD#i just might throw up at the potential of sawashiro knowing akane was alive while arakawa was still alive#ouuuuugggghhhh demons BACK /BACK/ I SAY JUST WAIT TWO MONTHS#if this motherfucker confirms he knew while arakawa was still kicking im gonna scream and piss myself#im getting evil ideas and i need to be STOPPED#when did they let his ass out of jail... did he get nosy once he got out or something..#honestly i was thinking about it this morning because i was laughing at how mine and sawa both did 'research' on their bosses#mine was mentally ill about it jo just wanted to be with his son and was just findin shit out but NOW. how far did the rabbit hole go...#inevitably he wouldve learned about akane one point or another whether because arakawa told him the story or he discovered her#but when did he Discover Her yk. when did yall start being pen pals SHE ADDRESS YOU AS 'MR JO SAWASHIRO'#i still think thats cute. sorry. moving on POINT IS NOW /IM/ NOSY#january 26th cant get here any sooner#also can i just say i think i tricked myself into thinking the game was coming out the 24th like when the fuck did that happen#HOW the fuck did that happen... lol... anyway...#im gonna go now and try to ward the demons off bye#also should i make katsu curry today.... its the last of my curry and there really is no reason why i shouldnt other than im lazy#hmmm........... chicekn.....
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i was not prepared for the way you have to think about everything ever before making a webcomic
#currently thinking about#what color scheme i want to draw vs what would be appropriate for the character vs what would fit the mood of the scene#about . what a characters apartment looks like#hell on earth forever#do you know how many rabbit holes ive gone down jst trying to write this thing#yesterday i had to do research on autopsy reports Someone get me out of here#GRINS I LOVE WRITING AND CREATING AND ART SHAKES THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE#like it doesnt have to require this much thought i can just. make it and see whre it takes me#but if i dont know every single detail of everything i will go insane#also procrastinating because of a mix of i dont feel like writing and Im scared to start posting it once im done#since ive been working on this like universe or whatever for 2 Years so . PENSIVE EMOJI#i forgot how horrifying sharing your art is#to random people online#anyways back to the writing trenches for me my final message gootbye#my post 🔮#laurence says things 🌌
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wait wait wait wait hold the fuck up. do most people actually spend the majority of their time not in any pain???? like. none at all??????
#genuine question askgkskg#like every adult i grew up around has some sort of chronic pain so i think my view on the subject might be a bit skewed#but like. for real. nothing???????#not even like. a mild headache? or random back pain? or like shoulder or neck pain?#or even just like that mild ignorable pain you get from sitting down a certain way#or on a hard surface#like i assume there are some people out there blessed to not experience pain all the time#but is it like actually an expected normal thing???????#anyways i’m like 60% sure i’ve got a dry socket and somebody once again brought up the pain scale#oh pain scale thou art mine mortal enemy#and i once again fell down the internet rabbit hole of trying to figure out wtf the pain scale even means#bc it makes no sense to me and literally never has#like not even talking about the subjectivity of it when jt comes to different people rating things differently#i just straight up have no idea what to rank any sort of pain#bc by those descriptors i see all the time im normally at a 2-3 and like a migraine would be an 8-9???#which does not sound right?????#like i know with certainty there are significantly worse things out there#it’s just such an unbalanced scale????#like the first half of the scale isnt something i would bother seeing a doctor about if there wasn’t something else going on#that’s just like. normal. it sucks but it’s commonplace?#okay i have once again been distracted complaining about the pain scale aldjdkfkdkh#but for real i’m sooo confused#like are the majority of people really out there regularly experiencing zero pain whatsoever?????????#wild#couldn’t be me
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for anyone curious the song is called "Hai Yorokonde" by Kocchi no Kento and you can see the full original music video here!
I CAN'T GET THIS SONG OUTTA MY HEAD
#q#op i need you to know this post sent me down a 2-hour-long rabbit hole#of trying to find this song. and then once i found it trying to figure out what the lyrics mean#it's just been me and google translate vs the world#anyway it's a song about mental illness and getting help instead of hiding your feelings!#i think!! i am like. fairly reasonably sure#which makes it a great mp100 song#ANYWAY! GREAT ANIMATION OP#mp100#animation#this is a good Art#reigen arataka#shigeo kageyama#v
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could you make a jealous Nicholas smuttt???
request accepted!
crazy in love -nicholas
summary: you get jealous so you successfully make nicholas jealous in return and he teaches you a lesson.
warning: smut, pin v, unprotected sex (plsplspls use a condom), overstimulation (i think thst it not sure)
a/n: thanks for the request. pls keep them coming
nicholas wanted me to attend this red carpet event with him, and of course i was quick to accept but i quickly dreaded and pushed down the eargness i so suddenly felt to be able to attend such an important place. i started going down a rabbit hole of posts of him with other girls.
the comments collectively agreeing he looks better with the other women he has worked with in the past.
i cut my phone off and waited in silence for my boyfriends stylist to be done with the finishing touches on his suit.
i walk in the dressing room and he was laughing with his stylist, and of course she had to be a woman.
at the after party of the even i planned on getting pay back for the jealousy he probably didn't even know he had instilled in me.
--
we were here at the after party and I've seen a few recognizable celebrities there but wouldn't dare approach them.
nicholas' hand was comfortably placed around my waist "nervous?" he asks, his words coming out ever so subtly "nope, why would i be" he replied with a low hum; shrugging.
i left his side and went to go get drinks he dispersed off somewhere else as well.
not even 10 minutes later i found myself talking to some guy with nice brown hair that complimented his soft brown eyes but his looks didn't even compare with my man.
"do you have somewhere to be after this?" he asked and i just let out a chuckle "maybe" i looked around to seen nicholas eyes were already on us.
i swallow drly and try and wrap the conversation up "i think i gotta go" that was my abrupt attempt on ending the conversation.
"c'mon pretty lady i can make it worth your while" the man placed his hands on my hip trying to make me stay.
before i could say anything i was being dragged away from him to no suprise by my boyfriend himself.
"let go of me" my voice wobbles. i struggle to tug my hand out of his grip; trying to get free. "no, we're going home. now." his voice was stern and there was no question. we were going home.
-
in a hurry nicholas unlocks the door, we both walk in and he slams the door shut behind us "what the fuck was that!?" he shouts.
"suddenly we go to a party and you're single?" i feel guilty but then remember the pictures i saw of him with other girls; looking cozier then ever.
"tha-thats not what happend at all" i try to explain myself. "you need to be taught a lesson. wanna be taught a lesson love?" he asks, his hand firmly squeezing my cheeks too firm towards i could only nod
"yeah I'm sure you do" he scoffs and pulls me to our shared room.
once we reach the dimly lit room, the only light illuminating the room was the warm tone of the lamp.
Nicholas pushes me down on the bed and crawls ontop of me starting to place open kisses down my neck, to my collar bone.
going back up to my lips, grabbing my face kissing me roughly. i moan into the kiss giving him enough space for his tounge to invade my mouth, claiming me as his.
he stops what he's doing "take your clothes off" he demands. i comply and begin taking off my heels throwing them aside with a loud bang they hit the ground follwed by the other heel. then pulling my dress off painfully slow so he does it for me.
snatching the material over my head and tosses it aside kissing down my stomach, trailing down to my inner thigh.
"you're so perfect" he mumbles, his fingers mess with the hem of my lacey panties and pulls them down and off me.
he goes down on me and licks the arousal that leaked from my core. i bite my lip to suppress a moan.
another lick, and a pressured kiss against my clit. i was a mess. feeling his breath against me sent shivers all over. i let out a gasp when he swirl his tounge on me. i felt my orgasm nearing; the band ready to snap "close- oh fuck!" i shout
he pulls away almost immediately. "not yet you aren't. turn over f'me"
"please.. i just- m'sorry" i whine, turning over anyway putting my ass in the air "sweetheart this is a punishment you can cum whenever i say. alright?" he says with faux sympathy
i hear his belt fall to the ground and his zipper unzip before he positions himself behind me and lines his throbbing cock up with my entrance.
with a deep thrust, he buries himself far inside me. "you feel that? how deep im inside you?" i nod vigourisly letting out a whimper. his hips snap forward; each thrust giving pushing my body up the bed.
his hand moves down my back pushing my face into the bed allowing me to take him deeper.
nicholas leans down and whispers in my ear "could he fuck you like this?" everything was so intense i could harldy ever come up with a verbal response for anything he asked. so again i shook my head 'no'
he grabs my hair and makes a makeshift ponytail "could he?" ,,no" i cry out squeezing my eyes shut in relief when he lets go of my hair
he continues slamming into me at a relentlessly brutal pace. the only sounds that could be heard was lewed sounds of skin slapping together paird with my muffled moans
we discussed a safe word prior to moments like these and i would have used it in this moment but as intense as everything was it felt so good.
without warning i clench around him and realese the knot that had formed in my stomach bursting. his thrusts didn't slow down, "i didn't say you could cum" he disdainfully reminded
i hiss at the sensitivity. my vision began to blur with tears while I also realize this is him teaching me a lesson. "apologies" he demands "imsorry.. im so fucking sorry" i began sobbing
i could no longer keep my body up my legs began to shake but no matter the condition nicholas' hands kept me in place as he pounds into me. before i knew it he had finished inside me already
i was so far gone in a daze i didn't even realize it. he pulls out and lets my body flop onto the bed "are you alright?" he asks tucking pieces of hair that had fallen in my face behind my ear.
he gets one of the throw blankets and puts it over me. 'mm' is all i could muster up. i was fine but in the moment i just wanted to sleep
a/n: i wanted to add aftercare but i feel like this was long enough..
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theodore nott
MASTERLIST • SLYTHERIN BOYS • 07/24/24
˚‧⁺ ・ ˖ · ୨ৎ recs
theodore nott two
𑣲 the way i loved you I @angelfic
in which theodore nott will do anything to get you to go out with him, but you’re just as stubborn rejecting him
𑣲 lessons in love I @obsessedwithceleste
Ft. Enzo being bad at potions, the Ravenclaw common room door, and more than one accidental love confession.
𑣲 all’s fair in love and quidditch I @/obsessedwithceleste
All’s fair in love and quidditch. At least until Matteo’s poorly aimed bludger knocks you off of your broom.
𑣲 theodore nott and the fortress of trust issues I @/obsessedwithceleste
Theodore Nott had never been able to cast a patronus. In third year, when dementors were swarming the castle, of course he tried, but was never able to manage more than a whisp of soft silver. Come seventh year, he was painfully unsurprised when his efforts were once again lack luster. Turns out, with the right tutor, casting the formidable charm might not be as impossible as he thought.
𑣲 til it’s gone I @/obsessedwithceleste
It seemed like they’d always been there. An ever-growing thorn in Theodore’s side. He really didn’t realize what he’d had until it was gone.
𑣲 mother brother knows best I @/obsessedwithceleste
In which Theodore is no match for the sheer determination of a twelve year old fueled by sugar, pumpkin juice, and spite.
𑣲 fighting fate I @/obsessedwithceleste
soulmate!au in which everyone sees in black and white until they meet their soulmate. Bold of fate to assume it can tell you what to do.
𑣲 jealously I @ahqkas
an unexpected situation catches you off guard in the heart of florence and your boyfriend reveals a side of him you’ve never seen before
𑣲 practice makes it better I @/ahqkas
struggling with the local slang, you feel out of place until you meet theodore nott, the silent slytherin
𑣲 dealer I @/ahqkas
smoking had never interested you before but when the local dealer catches your eye, you might get the experience of a professional
𑣲 the odds of affection I deactivated account
where theodore is grumpy and quiet and when the slytherin’s take note of how he always gives reader forehead kisses, they’re rather shocked.
𑣲 fools I @luv4freddie
in which the only Hufflepuff friend in the group of slytherins develops a crush on Theodore Nott— something only fools do.
𑣲 shut up kiss me I @theostrophywife
𑣲 written in the stars I @/theostrophywife
𑣲 kiss with a fist I @/theostrophywife
𑣲 lovebites and potions I @caramelcal
𑣲 not even the addressee I @kaciebello
When Theodore's name gets misspelled he's not happy about it.
𑣲 the sirens task I @frost-queen
𑣲 the letter I @spectorgram
you get a letter from a secret admirer who wants to confess. your best friend is none too pleased.
𑣲 eyes wide open I @/spectorgram
you discover that there is so much more to theodore nott than you thought.
𑣲 flustered and blushing I @amourane
in which you're a flustered mess around theo nott and he absolutely adores it.
𑣲 why can’t we love freely I @/amourane
you're tired of being a secret and it was time to let theo know.
𑣲 so this is love I @/amourane
there's a weird feeling that erupts in theo's chest whenever he looks at you and for the first time in his life his mind goes silent.
𑣲 down the rabbit hole I @/amourane
in which it's blatantly obvious that theodore nott has fallen down the rabbit hole of love.
𑣲 little dragon I @retrobutterflies
You are not a fan of one of his admirers and he thinks you are a pretty idiot.
𑣲 i think he knows I @dreamcubed
you had fancied the mysteriously quiet slytherin boy for as long as you could remember (since first year), and, quite frankly, your best friend was sick of you going on about it without ever making a move
𑣲 you need to calm down I @/dreamcubed
after returning to hogwarts for a subsidiary 8th year to make up for the loss of 7th year due to the war, you are a completely different person, and muggle-born-hating theo finds himself obsessed with you
𑣲 tired I @mrsmikaelsxn
you were theo's childhood best friend and he waits for a time when you will love him back
𑣲 try that again I @distantdarlings
Pansy finds out that a group of Gryffindor girls has had a lot to say about you and your relationship with Theodore Nott. They think you won’t do anything about it, but you prove them wrong.
𑣲 house pride I @/distantdarlings
Theo is pissed that you seem to be interested in other guys. The two of you are not officially dating so you find it ridiculous that you can't talk to whomever you want. You have feelings for Theo, though, and think it might be interesting to put his jealousy to the test.
𑣲 by the fireplace I @/distantdarlings
You have been an Animagus for around a year now. You have quite a knack for learning everything you need to know about it quickly and Professor McGonagall really likes you. However, a fellow classmate, Theodore Nott, does not like you. And you couldn't care less. Both of you are in for a surprise when you accidentally meet in the library.
𑣲 one star rating of dirty talking I @darkmagic-s
Sexting through note passing, one of Theodore's favourite ways to bother you.
𑣲 you understand I @lexamiele
Hogwarts students aren't exactly known for minding their own business. Thankfully, you and Theo speak a language they don't.
𑣲 august I @cassiopeiasdaughter
Theo asks you to be his fake-girlfriend but you understand the assignment a little too well.
𑣲 gold rush I @/cassiopeiasdaughter
loving Theo in secret was not something you had ever planned
𑣲 invisible string I @/cassiopeiasdaughter
you get married in the middle of the night during the war
𑣲 i could never not love you I @battinscn
theodore nott is a self sabotaging selfish bastard. he jumps to conclusions too quickly and is too hot headed for his own good. you never thought you would ever be one to experience it first hand. yet, despite it all, you could never find it in you to truly hate him.
𑣲 i hate you I @/battinscn
tate has a very special lucky broom he relies on for every match. when you accidentally step on it, he loses his temper.
𑣲 trust me I @/battinscn
theodore’s always had a hard time trusting other. but you would think being his girlfriend that he would have some faith in you. turns out you were terrible wrong and one day, you had finally reached your limit.
𑣲 missing you I @/battinscn
theodore’s job takes him away from you a lot and hi here understanding for the most part. but after countless broken promises, you had enough.
𑣲 his hufflepuff I @yoursecrett
You were known as the sweetest Hufflepuff at Hogwarts, from tutoring students to being Madam Pomfrey's helper, you were constantly busy you liked it that way... Theodore Nott - The Slytherin Prefect, you had caught his attention, and everyone knows Theodore Nott never gives up on something or someone he wants.
𑣲 sugar rose I @0luv9
Fool in love, bright like silver, shinning for everyone to see. Life has never been this good for Theo and he'll go out of his way to keep it that way. Or Theodore being utterly and unapologetically in love with you.
𑣲 between the shelves I @weasleyreidstyles
𑣲 blind date I @magiclostinfantasy
Y/N and Theo's friends set them up on a blind date, not knowing they've secretly been dating.
𑣲 karma I @wordsarelife
karma is the way you wear his jersey, making sure his team will lose the game
𑣲 moonlight and masks I @gemissleeping
Newly turned Death Eater Theodore Nott is tasked with hunting down Harry Potter and the Order Operative protecting him. Only to discover the person he hunts happens to be the one he loves.
𑣲 anything for you I @aemondsi
in a universe where voldemort won, you and theo risk everything.
𑣲 nonsense I @writingsbychlo
you got that holiday glee from your true love.
𑣲 secret notes I @sunshinelollipopsicle
theodore and you begin leaving notes for each other, you knowing it's him but him unaware it's you, and eventually, you agree to meet in person
𑣲 dreaming of saturn I @thestarsarebrightertonight
theodore nott seems so out of reach to most people yet you have him right in your arms
𑣲 cinnamon girl I @/thestarsarebrightertonight
everyone knows you have a crush on theo , even he knows! so when you randomly start avoiding him one day , theodore cant help but go crazy.
𑣲 seeker I @crimsntwlip
𑣲 clandestine I @puffleyia
Mattheo can not seem to place his finger on what exactly you have been keeping from him. He confides in his best friend, Theo, though he ends up cutting the conversation short due to some urgent matters. (aka, you)
𑣲 for the first time I @vintagebishx
in which, the usual womaniser finds himself in love with a girl who doesn’t even know his name…
𑣲 no smoke, only love in the air I @papercorgiworld
When the guys notice that you don’t like their smoking habit they quit, but dealing with the withdrawal has your boyfriend constantly needy for a kiss.
𑣲 pansys interrogation I @/papercorgiworld
Weird behaviour and rumours have Pansy asking questions and figuring out who the guys are crushing on.
𑣲 theo I @/papercorgiworld
The things Theodore Nott does for love.
𑣲 babysitting I @rainyreading
𑣲 the only heaven i’ll be sent to (is when i’m alone with you) I deactivated account
Best friends get dared to play seven minutes in heaven but they just sit and talk the whole time and somehow manage to admit their feelings for each other
𑣲 our secrets are buried I deactivated account
where they go on a double date with separate dates but they spend the whole time flirting with each other
#theodore nott#theo nott#theodore nott x reader#theo nott x reader#theodore nott smut#theodore nott angst#theodore nott fluff#theodore nott imagine#theodore nott x you#theodore nott fic recs#theodore nott fic rec#slytherin boys#slytherin boys x reader
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doubts
drew starkey x younger!reader (like 19/20 sorry not sorry 😭), reader calls drew “papa” *not in a weird way*, smut, in love w the age gap concept cus of @native2princess ! <3
you watched yet another video on the internet of drew down at disney world without you, but with his friend group that all had a few years on you.
he would send pictures of everything that was cute or that reminded him of you, and you really did appreciate it. but it still didn’t swallow the lingering feeling in your gut.
you weren’t even invited. it was obvious why since you couldn’t even buy a drink legally, let alone not even close with half of them, but for some reason it still hurt and had you questioning things even further about everything.
you swore that you guys were drifting apart.
not only did that make you sad, but it also left you scared and questioning everything.
the only thing that made you wonder why you two were drifting like you thought you were was because of the age gap.
was he getting tired of you? was the age gap starting to become a burden? were you just too immature?
and let’s not even get started on how drew acted around his female friends — that were once again a lot older.
all you could do was just cry. it was a dumb reason to cry about, but you don’t wanna lose drew yet you really think you are. he was your first and you hoped he’d be your last, but who knows where you two may end up?
seeing how he acted with his friends currently was already ruining you. now you found yourself down a rabbit hole of searching through old videos of him before you were even dating.
it was crazy, of course you were aware of that. but it did nothing but further increase your worries seeing how he would act around these girls. all older than you and all more outgoing.
so now here you were, stalking your own boyfriend while you sat in your bed, silent tears streaming down your face.
currently, drew was now in paris for the fashion show. he wanted you to come, but it would be too difficult for you. plus school had just ended and both of you knew that you were planning to spend more time with your family this summer.
regardless of that, this feeling was awful. you’ve had old puppy-love heart breaks during highschool with guys you dated just to say you were in a relationship, but this is real. a real committed relationship you’re in with a guy a little over 10 years older than you.
he’s so mature. so are you, but not entirely. you still had a lot more to experience and learn, and he was always so patient.
but maybe now that patience was wearing thin.
you sniffle one more time before closing out all your apps and throwing your phone on the nightstand next to you. wanting to sleep it off and praying you’d wake up feeling better, your insides just were not letting that happen. not to mention you couldn’t fall asleep without at least getting a goodnight text from him.
laying down was no use. as soon as you tried to lay your head down on the pillow and just relax, the overthinking just continued to grow. there was no escape from these thoughts and it was just eating you straight alive.
you huff while turning over, switching sides and seeing if that would help. spoiler: it didn’t.
all you could do now is groan while sitting up. a certain thought ran through your mind that you really didn’t want to go through with, but did you have a choice? you already felt as if the end of things are near, so why let him break your heart (even though you’d be expecting it) when you can just do it the hard part first?
with a sigh, you reached over to grab your phone and open drew’s contact. everything was making you sick. you just stared at the screen, skimming over the conversation you had earlier.
it was the usual. ‘hows your day’, ‘i miss you’, ‘this reminded me of us’, all the cute stuff.
but it just didn’t hit the same. that feeling of him leaving you because of your age wasn’t going anywhere, and it was making you feel insecure on extreme ends
your fingers started typing. there were no real thoughts, just your pure raw emotions. you hit backspace a couple of times, you sat there and thought about the next few words you were going to say, but eventually you got it all put together it pained you type, but it pained you even more contemplating on whether or not you should send it.
‘hey drew. i’ve been missing you a lot recently and i know it’s weird and you’re going to question why i sent this after you read it, but im sorry. i really do feel like you’re leaving me soon and it’s taking a toll on me badly. i don’t want this to end but i can tell that it is and i just know + feel like we’re drifting apart. i feel like it’s because of my age so i really do understand and respect that. we can talk more once you get back because i hate to do this over text but i can’t just bottle my feelings anymore. goodnight 🩷’
a few more seconds of contemplation, you hit send and stared at the screen. you didn’t know how he would respond so you should’ve been shutting off your phone and running away.
but you didn’t. you stared at the screen and waited until he read it.
thankfully, it didn’t take him any longer than three minutes to open your message, and soon after, the dots were bubbling.
drew himself was lost. confused wasn’t even the word for the long paragraph you just sent him. he even started triple texting you.
‘???’
‘what are you talking about baby?’
‘i’m so lost’
you sighed reading his texts. he didn’t get it, realistically you shouldn’t have expected him to. it was out of the blue, and little to your knowledge, he didn’t think for a second anything was wrong between you too.
when you didn’t answer him as soon as you read it, he went back to typing.
‘answer me’
‘i’m really confused and worried. it’d be nice if you stopped leaving me on read’
‘call me now’
you didn’t even have a chance to start typing because you had an incoming call with drew’s name on it. you didn’t wanna pick up, but you knew you had to because if the roles were reversed, oh you’d definitely be throwing a fit.
swallowing quickly, you hit the green answer button to drew’s facetime call but moved your face out of the camera.
he’s walking, most likely back to his hotel with furrowed eyebrows and an expression that you think showed… annoyance?
drew’s the first one to speak up, “y/n, what the hell are you talking about?” he says sounding very confused and very upset as well.
“i feel like we’re drifting apart apart i don’t know.” you replied. your voice isn’t even a third as stern as his. it’s not stern at all nor convincing.
“where is that coming from? what are you talking about it’s our ages?” he questions you again.
you really hoped a fan wouldn’t come up to him. not because it would interrupt the call, but because they would be walking up on him pissed off and getting a taste of his very apparent bad mood.
you sighed, “it’s just how i feel. maybe i’m not mature enough for this.”
his face scrunches with confusion even further. he then looks down to his screen to see the ceiling you were showing.
“why do you all of a sudden feel this way? you are mature. if you weren’t, this relationship wouldn’t be a thing in the first place.”
this was something else you wanted to avoid; him being mad at you. you hated making him upset and now that you were already upset, and he was just getting annoyed with you, it wasn’t helping and it made you feel worse.
“show me your face baby. you know i don’t like talking to walls.” he says once you don’t respond to his actual voice this time.
reluctantly, you put your face in the screen. sitting up and cuddling onto your bed sheets.
“y/n, nothing is wrong. we aren’t drifting apart at all so i don’t know why you feel otherwise. we’re okay and you know this, baby. stop overthinking.” he reassures you.
before you could finally respond with anything else, you heard a few girls calling his name from the other side of his phone. good luck to them!
“i’ll call you back. we’re not done talking.” he says, then swiftly hangs up.
you wanted to puke. you hated being in any type of conflict with people, let alone being in one with drew.
a headache was starting to form, and it forced you to lay back down and sleep. you kept your phone right next to you on your bed, just in case drew woke you up by ringing your phone again.
—
you weren’t sure when the previous night you fell asleep, but you didn’t wake up until 12 the next day. and that was due to your doorbell ringing multiple times at once.
you whined at the fact you had to leave your warm bed, but you slowly made your way down your apartment’s stairs, rubbing your eyes and forcing yourself to wake up.
opening the door ready to curse out whoever had the nerve to wake you up at this hour, it was drew standing at the door with flowers in one hand and his stuff in the other.
now this is what really woke you up.
“how are you here…?” you questioned.
he exhales, “soon as we hung up yesterday i checked out and booked a flight here. we really need to talk in person.
you step to the side to let him in, then he shuts the door behind him and hands you the flowers.
both of you take a seat at the table. “i need you to fully explain what you’re feeling. that paragraph honestly made no sense and as soon as i read the whole thing i knew i had to get down here.” he says.
you press your lips together before speaking. “i’m sorry.”
he makes a face of puzzlement and also motions for you to keep going.
“maybe im not mature enough for this, drew. i don’t know.”
“what makes you think that? what happened or what did i do that has you questioning everything?” he asks, reaching out for your hand.
you sniffle before continuing, “i just feel like im holding you back. you’re buying drinks, going to clubs and hanging out with your friends who are all around your age and im still in school. it’s not working-”
he cuts you off before you can finish that. “those aren’t reasons, baby. it is working. do you feel left out or something?”
“no it’s just,”
there’s a pause before he says something again, “just what? i don’t understand what’s got you so in your head.
“i don’t know how to explain it. i just think you’re drifting from me because of where we’re at in life and i hate it.” the words finally form, and you can feel a little bit of weight being lifted off your chest now that you’ve got it out.
his expression now shows a face of understanding, then he’s standing up and swiftly making his way over to you, lifting you up before securing your legs around him.
you let out a squeal at the action. when he was balanced, he made his way upstairs to your room with you in his arms.
stepping into your decorated room, he throws you down on the bed then hovers over you. “i’m gonna prove to you that you deserve this relationship.”
his lips make their way to your jaw, leaving little lovebites on them, then down to your neck and chest.
your hands fly to his buzzed head. you let out soft sighs at his lips being on your body, a feeling you loved the most.
his hands travel to your pajama shorts then dipped into the waistband of your panties. as hes taking them both off at the same time, he distracts you by now placing his lips on yours, slowly making out with you.
now your hands are taking action, working to get is shirt off to see his toned body once again. when it’s off, one hand is still on his head while the other goes down to his abs, feeling on him.
now he’s starting to get quick, fumbling with his belt and pants, ready to do you into the mattress.
sooner than later, both of your clothes are off and in random sports throughout the room.
his middle and ring finger are inside you, stretching your out as you moan and grind into his hand.
drew’s cock is laying there on your stomach, practically reaching your ribs. this was just another reminder of how deep he really goes when fucking you.
you could barely keep your eyes on him while his fingers worked you. “that feel good?”
you moan out a “yea.” you definitely couldn’t let him go. the way he could make you fall apart with just his fingers is crazy as it is.
“i bet, baby. already so wet. you know what you want huh?” he coos.
this makes you nod. “want your cock, please.” you reach your hand down to where it rested on you, but he moves your hand away.
“i know you do. but i need this pussy stretched and ready for me.” he responds
“i can take it! promise! just give it to me,” you whine.
drew gives in at your begging. he removes his fingers from inside you before sticking them in your mouth.
he grabs his cock before lining it up with your entrance. he slowly pushes in, making you whimper around his fingers. it hurt a little bit, but the pleasure overrode the pain.
“shhh,” he hushes you, putting his cock in all the way and forcing you to take all that he gave you.
you continued to let out sounds because of the pleasure he was giving you. drew was letting out groans of content himself.
“feels so good, baby. so fucking good.” he throws his head back.
his words did nothing but turn you on more. your eyes squeeze shut before you guide his hand out of your mouth and onto your throat, signaling what you want from him.
he smirks before moving his other hand to your throat, choking you slightly but enough that you can still breathe.
“yea you like when i go hard on you, right baby? this pussy just loves when i go rough on her, doesn’t she?” he teases.
“mhm!” you squeak, loving the feeling of just taking all of him so deep and so rough.
he makes your legs cross completely around him before leaning down into your neck.
this was your favorite position. you being on your back, him groaning in your hear and putting hickeys on your neck, it was so much at once and you loved it real bad.
his lips are right next to your ear. “i’m not going anywhere, yeah?”
he lets out another sound before continuing, “you’re not leaving me either. neither of us are going anywhere.
your breath catches in your throat when he says this. maybe this was all you needed. some reassurance, and a good pounding to go with it.
he sits up before pulling out to turn you around. now that you’re flat on your stomach, he slides right back in with a hand on your lower back right before your butt and the other pushing your head down into the pillows.
you screamed out when he started thrusting all over again. it hurt so good, you just wanted to do this forever him.
you tried to move away slightly because he was just going ham on your poor hole. but all it took was you reaching one hand up, gripping the sheets and trying to pull away before he yanked your head back by your hair. he then brought your back up to his chest and held you by your throat.
“stop running, baby.” he growls into your ear.
“it’s so deep tho, papa.” your eyes squeeze shut as your mouth hangs open.
he kisses right below your ear, “you’re fine.”
that bubbly feeling started to form again. you were about to cum, and somehow drew could always tell too.
“know you’re gonna cum, mama. hold that shit.” he tells you as he pushes you back into the sheets.
right now that request just didn’t seem possible. “i can’t!”
he gives your right cheek a firm slap. “you can and you will. don’t make me say it again.”
you guys stay in this position for a while. him just hitting it from the back deep and all you needed to do was lay there and take it like a good girl.
his good girl.
suddenly, he flips you back over, then lays down himself setting you on top. now he’s got his feet planted on the bed, thrusting up into you.
at this angle, you guys can see the belly bulge happening from how deep his cock was. just proving how big he really is again.
“see that baby? that’s me. all up in those guts.” he says to you.
you throw your head back, but he cups the back of your head to bring you down into him, chest to chest.
“y’the only one who gets fucked like this. y’know that? only one who deserves it too,” his arms wrap around your waist now. “only fucking one.”
his lips are practically on your ear as he says this. you’re only able to nod, but he wants to hear your voice.
“tell me you understand that baby, say it.” his thrusts slow down, but there still deep, and he’s angling it to make sure he’s hitting that good spot.
“i…”
another slap hits on to your cheek. “say it, princess.”
“yes! i understand!” you finally moan out.
“yes who, baby?”
“yes papa!” your voice is weak now.
he smirks at your submission and continues to fuck you hard. more than just a few thrusts later, he’s letting out a lot more groans than what he already was.
“shit baby… y’gonna make me cum soon. you gonna let me put it in you, hm?”
“drew…”
his hips are starting to stutter. “know you’re ready to cum too. been holding it in like papa told you too, good girl. fuckk.”
his arms are really really squeezing around your waist, keeping you still so you can’t try and move from his brutal thrusts.
“cum with me baby girl. got a big load for you.” he moans.
“don’t knock me up.” as good as the moment felt right now, you were dead serious about that.
he chuckles, “i won’t baby. know you wanna feel that cum all in your stomach tho.”
you moan one last time before finally cumming around him. you couldn’t hold it back anymore, no matter how much he told you to wait for him.
but your own orgasm sent his off. he felt you come undone around him, and two seconds later you felt his hot sperm fill you up.
drew’s arms moved from around your waist to seriously gripping your hips down, not letting you waist a drop of what he had to give you.
moans and deep breaths were coming from the both of you. that was the most intense sex you guys had for a while, not to mention the first time he’s actually came inside you.
when he finally came down from his high, he slowly pulled out of you and just let you rest on his chest.
“thank you,” you quietly speak up.
he doesn’t respond, but he smiles and kisses your forehead.
minutes after just sitting in silence, he sits up against your headboard and takes your face into your hands.
“baby, when i say youre what i want i mean it. if you weren’t mature enough for me, i wouldn’t still be here.” he says. you don’t actually answer, you want him to keep going.
“i love you so much, sweetheart. nothing about that is going to change and nothing can make it change. i don’t know what you saw or if i did something, but im sorry. okay?”
you nod with a smile. “okay.”
he smiles back at you then pressed his lips against yours, giving you a nice firm kiss. which slowly turned into a makeout.
you guys pull away just to catch your breath, “we gotta get you packed up, sweetheart.”
“for what?” you ask.
“i’m taking you back to paris with me.”
#barbiiecams#drew starkey#rafe cameron#outer banks#drew starkey blurb#drew starkey drabble#drew starkey fic#rafe cameron blurb#drew starkey fluff#drew starkey x black!reader#drew starkey headcannon#drew starkey angst#drew starkey smut#rafe cameron drabble#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron headcanons#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x black!reader#rafe cameron moodboard
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Hi ! As a pescatarian girly and as someone who has recently started to like Lando, I kept thinking about him with pescatarian!reader, because you know opposites attracts and also it made me think of the olive theory from 'How I met your mother', can be fic or smau
(also I'm the anon who requested the Charles fic and I was wondering if you gave names or emojis to your anons 🤔)
ahhh hi😇😇 thank u sm for sending another ask in. verrryy into this! ive never watched himym but i HAVE heard of the olive theory and genuinely think it can be so true. i also think like sharing food/giving certain parts of ur meal to ur partner is so sweet so i loved this a lot🥺🥺
also, tbh i have never had a consistent enough anon to name them/give them an emoji so i would loveee LOVE to do that🙏🏻 pls let me know what i should call u❤️ (and if anyone wants to be a regular/semi-regular anon and give themselves an emoji/name pls do!!!) ANYWAY alright i hope u enjoy— it’s a just a short ficlet 😌💖
LN: quid pro quo
pairing(s): lando norris x reader [read on ao3]
word count: 1.2k
“Eugh,” Lando says, feigning a gag as he looks at the plate of food set in front of you, “That’s disgusting. I don’t understand how you can put that in your mouth.”
Slowly, you raise an eyebrow at him, looking between your plate and Lando’s screwed-up expression; you point at your food, “Salmon? You think salmon is disgusting? Are you joking right now?”
He shakes his head fervently, a grimace still stuck on his face, “It’s gross.”
A laugh, loud and guffawing erupts from your mouth as you realise he’s being entirely serious. He’s fixated on your meal, frowning as if the fish has severely insulted him in some way. Quickly, you clap your hand over your mouth, concerned you’ll offend him if you keep laughing like that. This is one of a handful of dates you’ve been on together— clearly the first you’ve ordered seafood on— and you’re still trying to make a good impression on Lando.
“Wait,” you collect yourself, breathing deeply so you don’t fall into a fit of giggles again, “You’re not allergic are you?”
“No,” he shrugs, “I just hate fish. You’ve never heard that?”
You snort a little indelicately, already going back to eating your salmon, “‘You’ve never heard that?’,” you tease, “Do you think I stalk you on the internet, Norris?”
He grins that small sheepish grin you like so much as a light blush blooms on his cheeks. You’re very fond of him really. He’s cute in a scrappy kind of way; he’s funny and charming, a little bit dumb sometimes; and he’s into you, which is always a bonus. You’re not together— not quite— just seeing each other when you both have time, but it’s been going very nicely if you do say so yourself.
You like him.
He likes you.
Lando rolls his eyes, and purses his lips in an attempt not to let you see the smile that he’s trying to hide, “Don’t you? Stalk me on the internet?”
“Never,” you answer resolutely, thinking blatantly of that night after you’d first met him when you fell down a rabbit hole, spending a good hour watching thirst traps of him on Instagram before coming to your senses, “Not once.”
He hums, unconvinced, “Alright.”
Alright. You make a face, almost stick your tongue out at him but think better of it at the last second. He laughs— giggles— at you. You look away from him, down at your plate, trying to hide the smile that spreads and spreads behind your hair. God, you like him. You’re trying not to let it get away from you. You get the impression that he’s not huge on relationships, and you’re trying hard to be casual about him. It’s difficult— mostly because everything feels so easy when you’re together.
“So,” you start as you push a forkful of salmon and leafy greens around your plate, “Hate to break it to you, but I’m a pescetarian.”
“Um,” Lando asks around a mouthful of half-chewed food, “What’s that mean?”
You stifle a laugh, “Like a vegetarian, but I eat seafood.”
He swallows and makes another face, similar to the earlier one. You can see this is hard for him to process, he clearly dislikes seafood to a degree that you hadn’t quite understood until now. It’s funny. It’s another thing to add to the growing list of reasons you fancy Lando Norris. Though you would think that as a pescetarian you’d want him to like fish, but you suppose by not eating them he’s just saving all the sea animals that you’re not— quid pro quo.
“What about, like,” he waves his fork around, evidently still wondering why you’d eat seafood voluntarily, “just being a vegetarian?”
You shrug, “Vegetables are boring.”
“Right. Better than eating fish though.”
“I like fish.”
He shakes his head, “I don’t get it… It’s— they’re slimy and they smell and they’ve got fucking beady little eyes. It’s not natural.”
“Okay,” you laugh brightly at his despondent expression, “I do need to eat them, unfortunately. Otherwise, I’d probably die of malnutrition, or I dunno, scurvy.”
He groans, hanging his head so that all you can see of his face is that mop of brown curls. You think of your second date when you’d kissed him for the first time in your stairwell and how you’d threaded a hand into it— and they were soft and not heavy with product the way that you hate. The way he’d smelt like expensive cologne and tasted both smokey and sugary at the same time, just like the whiskey and cokes he’d been having at the bar. There’s a soft smile playing at your lips when he finally looks up.
“Does it bother you?” you ask, “That I eat fish.”
He shrugs, shakes his head in a non-committal way that could be either answer and does that little grin again. The one that means he’s going to say something that you’ll find either unbearably cute or embarrassingly funny.
“Yes,” he says, grin not subsiding, “How am I supposed to kiss you when you’ve got fish breath.”
Your eyebrows shoot up and a shocked laugh bubbles from your mouth, you try to ignore the stirring feeling in your gut at the words how am I supposed to kiss you in favour of responding to his lack of tact Try, being the keyword there. It somersaults in your head, how am I supposed to kiss you he said, like he was thinking of doing it again. Which, okay, of course, he’s thinking of doing it again. You understand what this is— but there was an unmistakable fondness there that you just can't shake.
Anyway, you push thoughts of kissing him aside, he’d still accused you of having fish breath, “Wow,” you say dryly, with no malice at all as much as you try to feign it, “You say that to all the girls?”
He blushes, his tan cheeks turning a very pleasant red as he properly realises what he’d said, “Shit. No— oh my god— I’m sorry. I just meant—”
You wave him off, laughing, “I know what you meant. You’re good, Lando.”
“Phew,” he lets out a breath of relief, his nervous laughter punctuating the air between you, without meaning to he says, “God, I thought I’d just fucked it.”
You furrow your brows and frown, confused, “No. You couldn’t.”
You watch him scrub a hand over his face, embarrassed, before it falls away and he gives you a sheepish little grin that says he’s happy to hear that. Toothy, eyes squinted and carving dimples into his cheeks. Your face feels warm and you smile back, biting your bottom lip on the smile so it doesn’t grow and grow to cover your whole face.
Later, after you’ve finished lunch and spent too much time talking over a too-sticky table in your favourite pub, Lando kisses you up against a tree in the park by your apartment. You put your hand in his soft curls and you smell cologne and taste what he’s been drinking as he presses his tongue into yours. The coarse hair of his moustache brushes against your lips and you kiss back with equal gusto. You pull away when it feels like you two are veering into too inappropriate territory for this public park. He chases you, but you laugh softly, pressing a perfunctory closed-mouth kiss to the corner of his mouth. He groans, laughs, and puts his forehead against yours.
You hum, “I guess my fish breath doesn’t bother you so much, huh.”
“Fuck,” he breathes, “You’re never going to let that go are you.”
You shake your head ever so slightly, “Not as long as I live, Norris.”
#this made me really crave salmon but i cant have salmon because salmon COSTS $42 AUD PER KILOGRAM#lando norris#f1#formula 1#lando norris x reader#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#🍓anon#oneshots:ln4
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Taking care of Evan is a novelty, for Tommy.
It had taken them a few missteps, a few hesitant months of learning each other, to really fall into it the way they have now, so he doesn't take for granted the way Eddie pats him on the back and slinks out the door before Evan can go another round of conspiracy theory debate with him, doesn't take for granted the way Evan pouts his ass off all the way to the car knowing Tommy is going to take the doctors instructions not to sleep on a flat surface to heart, doesn't take for granted the way he lets Tommy shoulder his weight on his good side in and out of the elevator, or the sullen twist of his lip while Tommy plops him in his arm chair and heads upstairs to grab them both something to sleep in.
Evan's already got his laptop set up in his lap by the time Tommy makes it back downstairs. It's an argument in the making, Tommy knows it, and yet -
"Don't start," Evan says the moment Tommy tilts his head, like he knows exactly what Tommy's going to say, and Tommy shifts on his feet, lifts a hand up to sluice through his messy curls, and Evans eyes dip closed, a low hum rumbling in his throat.
"You should rest," he says, and Evan's eyes drift open, sliding up to meet Tommy's stubbornly.
"Billy Boils ruined date night, Tommy, and now I don't even get to sleep next to you."
"Will it make you feel better to know neither one of us is enjoying your mattress tonight?"
Evan's gaze darts towards the couch, and he can see it bubbling up - the protests that he's fine, that at least one of them should be comfortable, that it's not necessary - and then they fall away. It'd been a fucking gift, the first time Evan had just let himself be taken care of, and Tommy doesn't take for granted the way Evan's shoulders drift back down from his ears, the pink of his cheeks as he shoots Tommy a pleased look through his lashes.
Tommy tweaks an earlobe and one of Evan's hands drifts up from the keyboard to snag his fingers and squeeze, and Tommy aches, bone deep. No one has ever let him in like this. No one has ever accepted Tommy's desperate need to take care of someone quite like this before.
"Half an hour of Billy Boils and then it's time to sleep, Evan."
The hand around his squeezes, again, before the bratty little look returns to his face. "Yes dad," he snipes, and Tommy flicks a freed finger against his earlobe in retaliation this time.
All in all it's probably closer to an hour. He's in the bathroom, halfway out of his jeans before he decides he should get Evan a pillow now, before the day fully catches up to him, and Evan sneaks a few ass-grabs while he's trying to situate the thing comfortably. Halfway through a quick shower Evan presses through the bathroom door under the guise of brushing his teeth, but once he's rinsed the conditioner out of his hair he catches Evan's lingering gaze, toothbrush long forgotten in his hand, and Tommy has to shoo him out despite how tempting his little come-hither look is. Dried and dressed, he ends up taking three separate trips up the stairs, first for a pillow and blanket of his own, then again for the hoodie it takes a lot of gentle maneuvering to get Evan into, a third time for the bottle of ibuprofen he left up there on maybe the first trip.
By the time he's switching out ice packs and setting a glass of water down, Evan is fully immersed in his rabbit hole, and Tommy is exhausted.
He knows even as he's shutting the light behind him off and drifting to the sound of Evan's voice that it's a losing battle to try to pull Evan from his deep dive. It doesn't stop him from trying one last time before he's lost to the pull of sleep.
---
The thing is, no one's ever let him take care of them like this before.
He's dated the stubborn assholes who refuse because of some lethal combination of ego and masculinity, dated the guys who take one look at him and make some startlingly off base assumptions that somehow still crop up in the gay community as often as in hetero circles. He's always sort of assumed it was a failing on his part - the inability to communicate his desire to be of service, a terrible taste in men who do nothing to compliment his personality.
He'd held the door open for Evan, hand gentle on his back as he guided him into Micelli's, that first time, and he'd watched the pulse in Evan's neck skip and the shy way he'd ducked his head and nearly bumped into the hostess stand, and that alone had made it a hell of a lot harder to abandon Evan at the curb than he'd have liked.
He's never dated someone new, before, and maybe that's part of it too - he'd come out just in time to slam head first into a bunch of labels and roles, with no anchor points, no cadre of queer friends to help him navigate, and he'd run the gamut of shitty one night stands, casual hookups, semi-casual dating, one serious relationship that had made him seriously consider setting down his landing gear and grounding himself for good.
He'd been six months back into the dating game, after a long hard look in the mirror and a frankly terrible conversation with his father, when Evan Buckley stumbled his way into a drawn out handshake and a comedic series of events that had culminated in Tommy being tastefully mauled in the lobby of an emergency room while three nurses tittered behind their hands.
It hadn't taken him long at all to realize that it hadn't just been nerves that made Evan's heart rate jump, in the doorway of an Italian place on his first date with a man.
It was the little things, at first.
A grimace when Evan tilted his head against the back of the couch and Tommy's hand had curled around his neck and searched out knotted muscle - a bone deep sigh when his fingers pressed in and Evan was putty in his arms half-a-minute later.
Evan halfway down a Wikipedia rabbit hole, shoulders hunched in while he scrolled, and Tommy had muted the Kings game to ask him which records Gretzky had broken in LA like he couldn't list them off all in his own, drawing Evan out of his daze just enough to get him to stop hunching quite so much.
The first night he'd let Tommy take him apart, sink into the core of him and pepper the freckles littering his back with kisses, and after, in the soft quiet moments after Tommy'd rolled away to grab a washcloth and Evan had murmured his sleepy protest, he'd blinked open his eyes at the touch of the warm towel glancing across his skin and there'd been something there in his eyes that Tommy hadn't wanted to face head on in that moment - it was the surprise he'd latched on to, because if Evan thought he wasn't worth a little aftercare than Tommy could at least disabuse him of that notion.
On a long weekend they'd spent fucking on surfaces in Evan's loft neither of their knees were young enough for, Evan had hummed his gratitude for the breakfast Tommy dragged himself out of bed to make and then spent the next week avoiding making plans with Tommy until Tommy weaseled it out of him that he felt like he was taking too much, asking too much, accepting too many gestures without reciprocation.
Tommy'd spent their next 24 off together disabusing him of that notion, too.
Six months in the lesson seems to have finally stuck. Evan seeks it out, usually unconsciously - head tipped towards Tommy's mouth to accept the kiss to his birthmark he knows is coming, leaning into the warmth of Tommy's shoulder while they're standing in line together, wandering off to a table on the patio the moment they make it to their favorite coffee shop because Tommy had memorized his coffee order within the first two weeks of seeing each other, a bratty eyeroll and a hidden smile when Tommy slid a plate in front of him while reminding him that no matter how much research he did on killer bees, he'd still need sustenance to actually make it through another shift with Gerrard and said bees.
He'd spent a good month there in the middle giddy with the freedom of it, practically high off the feeling of finally, finally finding a place where his sometimes over-the-top fussing landed in all the right ways.
Evan tucks his half-drunk coffee into the vee of Tommy's legs when he excuses himself for the bathroom and Eddie glances up from his phone, the sight of his raised brow somewhat diminished by the noise he makes when he pulls the ring pop tucked around his thumb from his mouth.
"Please tell me you're not indulging this curse thing."
There's a rise of something in his chest he shoves back down, because he finds the whole Boils thing just as ridiculous as Eddie does, and Evan doesn't need defending, anyway. He sighs. Tries to convince himself he's just imagining the tense pull of Bobby's shoulders, just behind him. "Let him have his flights of fancy," Tommy says, and Eddie rolls his eyes, makes a sound that is suspiciously similar to a whip cracking, and settles back in with his phone and his ring pop.
Behind him, Bobby does nothing in particular, but if Tommy were reading into it, he'd say he slumps a bit.
Evan scoops his coffee back out of Tommy's lap with a grin just as Howie is returning from Denny's room. "How do you feel about a trip to Temecula?" he asks, and Tommy's known for a while now that he's in this for the long haul, but the lack of hesitation on his part before he agrees reminds him of just how fucking deep in he's let himself fall.
Eddie's next up to sign Denny's cast, but he makes sure to make eye contact when he mimes cracking a whip just out of Evan's line of sight.
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